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Neon Bus God

by Foovius Bar | D.S. Benson

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1.
If I Had a Stick Doug Benson, 12-15-2001 I was hunting alone far away from my home In a place that I knew I should not be And a beast from out of the darkest night Was after me, was after me This is not what I planned, I am not in command And I call out to the forest gods Won't someone give me shelter Or at least even out the odds If I only had a stick If I had a sharpened stick Nobody would bother me Nobody gonna shake-a my tree Just imagine how safe I'd be If I only had a stick I see the torches and I smell the pitch As the enemy stand before my gate And I do not know their intentions But I’m fearful for my fate, fearful for my fate Oh certainly I could parlay For I am capable of reason But deep inside I know that I Have brought me to this season But If I only had a spear If I had a metal spear Nobody would bother me Nobody gonna shake-a my tree Just imagine how safe I'd be If I only had a spear To the east and the west, to the north and the south Nation by nation, driven insane By a lack of desire to understand Or a fever of the brain, fever of the brain Fanatics spread, from head to head And they threaten to wash up on our golden shore And I know this kind of weakness preys On the hungry and the poor But If I only had a bomb If I had an atom bomb Nobody would bother me Nobody gonna shake-a my tree Just imagine how safe I'd be If I had an atom bomb [break] If I only had a stick If I had a sharpened stick Nobody would bother me Nobody gonna shake-a my tree Just imagine how safe I'd be If I only had a stick Nobody would bother me Nobody gonna shake-a my tree Just imagine how safe I'd be If I only had a stick
2.
39 Women 04:26
39 WOMEN Douglas S. Benson 39 women I have made love to All showed up at the high school reunion They with their husbands, me with my third wife 39 women don’t remember my name 39 women with 46 pictures Of 41 babies just learning to crawl Most of them look like their mothers and fathers Some look like me or like no one at all I told so many lies to those 39 women I couldn’t keep track of them all If I hadn’t contracted this social disease I’d still be having a ball 39 women went home with their husbands I went home with a picture of me I know what I look like I know that I would like One of those women to remember my name. [Background singers] You told us naught but lies We closed our eyes to Remember you Now we’re not too impressed By your request to Remember you
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Swept Away 03:06
SWEPT AWAY Doug Benson December 27, 1991 Clouds roll together And cover the sky The roads are in for hard weather And so am I Water the windows Washing them down Rain fills the fields and the gardens And covers the ground Old battered birds With nowhere to land Dance on the rooftops As they try to stand As rain becomes stream becomes flood God’s little acre of land Turns homes into mud Our powerful hammers Would rip us asunder But they would not damage The wind and the thunder Half of me wonders How the other half lives When the rain comes down To claim the life that it gives Old battered T-Birds Silently float Past the wrecks of a dealer‘s Superior boats Years of labor and toil Hundreds of dreams washed away On rivers of soil Rescue for some Comes in the cold mists of day Other phantoms succumb To be swept away.
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My Heart Sustaineth Wounds That Shall Not Heal Doug Benson 1986 My heart sustaineth wounds that shall not heal When ere of fatty meat I take my meal If soft of brains, I’ll stiff’ my veins And see my blood congeal. Yet thinner shall my corpus wane each day For thoughts of food are often led astray Too much meat or too little will alternate my middle And I’ll see my waist away. Thus meat shall be my life and meat my death I’ll meet my maker with my dying breath And if I decline to sup on time, I’ll dine with God and disregard the chef!
8.
pig meat mama July, 1991 Douglas S. Benson Pig Meat Mama Won’t you come in from the rain? Your boys are tired Of playing the banjo Pig Meat Mama Won’t you come in from the rain? There are things you can’t explain. All day long we drink our fizz And watch the tube try to set our tempo Pig Meat Mama Won’t you come in from the rain? You’ve been acting quite insane, so Pig Meat Mama Won’t you come in from the rain? Papa said pork rind felt no pain.
9.
Hey Lady 03:04
10.
MAKOOLAN SONG OF LOVE (with translation) August 3, 1991 Douglas S. Benson Satapoolah pakamoolio Mekka hana mokoreggio Oh! Petorini ah-day-o Oh! Salatini ah-nay-o Motorina feno hasharo Balatsina enorageno Oh! Petorini ah-day-o Oh! Salatini ah-nay-o Ta! Kashana! Bana! Nasava! Cha bambini, tuka nutsio Feta sini fascia kitsio Oh! Petorini ah-day-o Oh! Salatini ah-nay-o Rin tintala Mako fataldara! Your lovely hair is swinging Back and forth beneath the breeze Ah! To see you in the daylight Ah! To feel you in the moonlight My car parks with pleasure To drive you erogenous places Ah! To see you in the daylight Ah! To feel you in the moonlight Oaf! Don’t touch my hair! (she says) Buffoon! Don’t touch me there! But baby, you make me crazy And you fill my face with kisses Ah! To see you in the daylight Ah! To feel you in the moonlight When I see a ring on my finger (she says) I will do these things with you in such frequent and imaginative variety that you will expire in a paroxysm of pleasure.
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BABY COME HOME July 1993 by Doug Benson C F I’ve been to the south of France G C Stood on a mountaintop without my pants C F I’m just lookin’ for a little romance G C So baby come home with me Chorus: C F Home, baby come home G C Home, baby come home C F Home, come on home G C Baby come home with me Bridge: F G C --> Am F G C Once had a woman, was a real humdinger Was a darn good writer and a mighty fine singer Gave her a ring and she gave me the finger Baby come home with me Chorus and Bridge Now I don’t know what you think I’ve planned But darlin’ I’m not that kind of man I’m not lookin’ for a one-night stand So won’t you come home with me Chorus and Bridge I’ve been lookin’ for a woman like you To take love from and to give love to You ain’t her but tonight you’ll do… So Baby come home with me Chorus (twice) Home, baby come home Home, baby come home Home, come on home Baby come home with me
13.
SHRIVEL UP AND DIE Doug and Greg Benson May, 1993 I thought our love would never end Wrong, wrong, wrong. I thought that we were blessed by Cupid Stupid, stupid, stupid. If only I could call you I’m sure I would enthrall you You know I’m not a polar bear Won’t push you down and maul you. You left me in the wild I sit alone and cry I’m nothing but a starving child Feed me or I’ll shrivel up and die. CHORUS: Shrivel up and die, Shrivel up and die, I’m just the kind of guy Who will shrivel up and die. (repeat) Might chase you down and tail you Might fold you up and mail you And though we’re not together Sure wish that I could nail you. You punched me in the nose And stuck a hatpin in my eye You made our love a dying rose Plant me or I’ll shrivel up and die. -- Instrumental Break -- “Telephone” “It’s for you!” CHORUS: Shrivel up and die, Shrivel up and die, I’m just the kind of guy Who will shrivel up and die. (repeat)
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about

Remastered 2018

A catchy collection of singable songs that ambles from rock, to folk, to crossover country (wherever that is), through unnamable lands in-between, and all with a healthy dose of strange humor.

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credits

released September 18, 2012

Neon Bus God is a collection of songs that have been percolating around the studio like a cup of coffee with steamed milk, generously spiked with chocolate liqueur. Hmm, maybe that's a bad simile, but it sounds like a good idea. Just a minute, I'll be right back.

Ok, let's continue. As I was saying, Neon Bus God is like a pastrami sandwich with a really good beer. Or if you prefer, you can stick with a salad and an Italian soda, and I'll have a glass of wine, thanks. Wait, where were we going with this? Never write on an empty stomach.

The styles range from rock to folk to alt-country (and some pieces with genres hard to place), but skewed humor and home-grown arrangements link them together. Hand-crafted tunes, warts-and-all, fun and oddly catchy. Unreliable narrators and points of view that don't match the author's.

Instruments include electric and acoustic guitars, electric bass, treated acoustic bass, banjo, nylon-strung banjo, mandolin, violin, percussion, drum programming, keyboards and voices. Except where indicated, everything was played, programmed and sung by D.S. Benson.


Song Notes:

"If I Had a Stick" - a fun little song about the weapons race. Doesn't everybody want a nuclear bomb? Doesn't everybody want a sharpened stick?

"39 Women" - the guy who used to brag about getting horizontal with all the girls in high school shows up years later at the reunion, and nobody remembers him. One of many songs here that are about as far away from biographical as they can possibly get.

"Where's The Future Gone"- weren't we promised flying cars by now? Where's my damn flying car?
Lead vocals by Ben Benson (who was 14 at the time). Doug sang the chorus vocals.

"Swept Away" - a serious song written after a bad flood in Texas. Mainstream country artists, take note. Big hit if you get this ready for radio next time the rain starts.

"Growing Some Friends" - A lonely and rather simple god creates Adam and Eve, then ends up leaving them. Because we always leave the ones we love, at least in songs. "And I'm going away, but I'll be back some day, if the place isn't blown up by another Almighty."

"I Don't Believe" - as sung by a clueless and wavering politician. The odd sounding stringed instrument at the start and end is a cheap banjo restrung with nylon guitar strings and played like a mandolin.

"My Heart Sustaineth Wounds" - beautiful and intricate acoustic guitar, with sensitive and lovely vocals about a heart-attack diet. And you thought it was a metaphor!

"Pig Meat Mama" - honestly, I can't tell you what this is about. It just sorta happened. The title was a riff on Bow Tie Daddy, an old Mothers of Invention song.

"Hey Lady" - Let me shave your mole? Reprehensible! Whoever this guy is, he's horrible! Let's hope this isn't based on a true story.
Lyrics by Greg Benson, of Mediocre Films. Follow him on YouTube.
Music by Doug Benson.

"Makoolan Love Song" - a traditional Makoolan song of love, sung in the original language, with a helpful translation into English. I'm not sure of the translator, but I like his style.

"The Pacific Is A Cesspool" - an overly earnest activist sings about trash. Hey, just because it hasn't totally happened yet…have you read about the Great Pacific Garbage Patch? Plastic: It's What's For Dinner!

"Baby Come Home" - another horrible narrator. Everybody sing along! "You ain't her but tonight you'll do…" Written years ago for my friend B_ on the occasion of a truly embarrassing party his father had thrown him in an attempt to marry him off—a pool party filled with attractive, available girls and no other guys apart from B_'s dad, his brother and me. I brought my guitar and sang this loudly as a singalong. You're welcome.

"Shrivel Up And Die" was written by Doug and Greg Benson. The high harmony is Doug Benson, and the low harmony is Greg Benson.
Greg played the electronic drums.

"Monsters Of Rock" was composed by Doug and Greg Benson. Greg played the electronic drums. The original title of the piece is "(Last Encore For The) Monsters Of Rock," and it documents what our massively successful live stadium tour of a few years ago would have sounded like, if such a thing existed. The fake crowd was very enthusiastic over the light show. Wish you could have been there. Same for us.

"Our Lady of the Evening" - a lovely and sensitive song about a man and his favorite whore, and the dissolution of his marriage. Wonder why things didn't work out for him?

"We Are Flying" - heaven as seen from the perspective of a bunch of moths. Go toward the light…

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Foovius Bar | D.S. Benson San Francisco, California

D.S. Benson
Musician. Writer. Made of meat. Mostly biodegradable.

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